You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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