Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
