wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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