dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
