can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
