Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
