Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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