where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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