Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I am spending my child support on dildos
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
