She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm passing your future prison.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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