nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
