its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
