How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
