had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
