just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
