two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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