You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
