all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
