Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
