I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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