I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
