Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
