Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
