so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
