If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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