peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Are we still banned from the library?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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