So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
