would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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