No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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