so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
