They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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