Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
