Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
