I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
