hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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