PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
