I'm drive I can fine osifer
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
