I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
