WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
