yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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