Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
