He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
