I hate your face
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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