I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
