are you still at the devil's house?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
