She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
