I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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