That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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