Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
