After last night, I could never be a politician.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
