Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
